Tragic: Old Punk Unable to Be Killed by Traditional Means

D.C — “He just literally won’t die,” quotes local scene kid Marcellus.

Trent, 55, quotes his immortality ritual as follows:

5 Anarchy tattoos in a pentagram, 1 Descendent’s Milo tattoo, every 60’s – 90’s punk record on vinyl minus ‘Anything Henry Rollins’ because he’s a sellout, a past including straight edge but converted back to ‘only edibles man and that new CBD stuff’ and a history of telling kids that anything other than recording to tape is “Government propaganda designed to reduce the art to capitalistic slime.”

Marcellus said “He won’t stop coming to shows and berating my setup, he turns his nose at me because I market my band, and he gets pissed when I use seventh chords.” “We’re not even a punk band! We had to do something drastic.”

When asked how he’ll use his newfound immortality Trent was quoted saying “Gonna go to every single one of these local shows until these little dummies learn some respect and history. They’ll never get rid of me. NEVER.”